I wrote this earlier this last year for another website and thought I’d share it on this Positively Lighter. Stories, I believe help others. We all have stories, why not think about sharing some of yours. It might just make you feel positively lighter. Once you start you might find it quite enjoyable. I would love to read it.
Here it is then 25 things you might not know about me!
1. I’m 44 years old (that’s gone up 1), I think I was born on a council estate called Stanhope Estate in 1969. My parents still live in the house I was born in; they were one of the first to move to the new estate which was apparently built for the London over spill. Mum moved from County Kildare, Southern Ireland when she was a teenager, she met my dad. Mum and Dad got married, they lived in Kennington, London with my sister Michelle before moving to Ashford Kent.
2. I went to school at Stanhope Infants, Stanhope Juniors and Duncan Bowen High School. I liked school. PE and maths were my favourite subjects. I was quite a clever kid, naturally, without trying too hard . I can remember sitting in the hall at Duncan Bowen doing a test, it was fun! I only found out later that it was the 13+ (it changed from the 11+ for a few years). It wasn’t until later that I found out it was a test for grammar school. I was then in the head teachers office trying to defend myself to stay at Duncan Bowen. I was petrified of reading out aloud in class. I was really crap at it. I thought if I go to grammar school the books I had to read from would make it even more embarrassing for me. It was the most uncomfortable thing I ever done, and still now, I still can’t read out aloud without messing it up. I was very concerned that my parents wouldn’t be able to afford the weekly bus pass and the uniform. Mum and dad left the decision up to me. No one new my reasons back then. It brings tears to my eyes even now as I type. Maybe I need so therapy?
3. My dad liked boats. We had a small boat, it was moored in Yalding boat yard. That was our holidays, in the boat yard. I didn’t like it that much. I suffered terribly with hayfever until a few years ago, all that pollen around the river was horrendous. The final straw for the family was one day we went out for a cruise, my nan was with us too. We moored along the bank, I caught my first fish, that was the only good thing about the day. Disaster started when Rudy the poodle fell into the river. We moved along the river bank a bit after a cruise. Dad started hammering the stakes into the bank and hit a wasps nest, wasps were everywhere in the boat, us screaming girls, mum and nan, lol, we made for a quick escape. We was just getting the donuts out too. Dad jumped back on board and we motored off. The next stop was at bit further along. Dad was on bank, “throw the ropes,” the ropes were all over the place from the great escape previous. The boat starts floating to middle of river. Dad on bank. HAHA screaming non swimming family. Dad has to rescue us, dives in the Medway and swims to save us. So the next traumatic experience begins, we are capsizing, haha, that’s what it felt like as dad tried to get onto the boat from the river. The boat didn’t feature much more in our holidays.
4. I went to nursery school at a place which was to be one of my partying holes as a teenager, the South Ashford Youth Club. I can remember being told off for mixing the sand from the sand pit into the clay tray.
5. When I was 14 to 16, I had a skinhead. I love the look still now and the music too. There was three of us girls in the gang that had skinheads, myself, my good buddy Lorraine and Tish. We was well ‘ard! 😉 We thought that was important back then. Well I’m sad to say that one of our trio of skins died at the end of last year. Tish O’leary, such memories, I would not change them for the world xx x
6. I mentioned that I liked school! I liked being a rebel more when I had my skinhead with my girls. My good ole dad used to make lots of homemade wine He even used to fortify it with something I recall being called 140 proof polish spirit! Well it was all in a cupboard in my bedroom. My dad made wine racks by soldering empty tin cans together, a wine rack full of fortified homemade wine at the end of my bed. It was more than quite often that myself, Tish and other girls in the gang would be off from school in the afternoon with a bottle or two. The men in the Chinese take away would take the cork out for us, if not a shove with a door key would let it flow.
7. Along with the skinhead rebellion and wine came a bit of substance abuse. Wow that’s not easy to type out loud.
8. I attracted a bit of interest from the skinhead lads once I had my head shaved. I got one of the respected skinhead lads as my fella, Pad the Dad, Paddy. He was funny, quite attractive, but also quite violent to me. I got nutted a few times and cheated on more than enough!
9. I have two sons, Mitch is 16 and Reece is 14. They are big now! I looked at them both the other day as they stood side by side in the kitchen and thought wow, where did you two come from!
10. When I was pregnant with my Mitch, I thought I would go back to work after having him. Little did I know of the instant love that reveals itself on the birth of a your own child. So I didn’t go back to work. Although I did! I had to work for a month. My good friend Wendy looked after Mitch for me whilst I worked my notice. I trained my buddy Lorraine, ex-skin, to do the job I was leaving, so that was cool, I could still spend extra time in my lunch break with Mitch at Wendy’s
11. When I was at school, we had to do work experience, as I liked numbers I tried at an accountancy firm, they just had me filing, urgh. So as I liked PE too, I ended up doing my work experience with the PE teachers, helping teach in PE lessons.
12. I thought about going into the army and training to teach fitness. The thought at being told what to do all the time turned me right off so that didn’t happen.
13. I worked at Tesco as a part time cashier whilst I was at school as well, this also counted as my work experience also. I left Tesco for a full time job after leaving school. I took a job as a full time cashier at Texas Homecare, a DIY shop. I think the question that got me the job at the interview was, “what do they do if you are short in your till,” I couldn’t answer, as i didn’t know!
14. During my time with Texas I worked in a variety of roles, cashier, chief cashier, stock controller, management trainee and helped implement EPOS (Electronic Point Of Sale, remember cashiers used to use the buttons on the tills to put the ticket prices in). Perhaps having an affair with a manager was another reason I got shoved around from store to store. There’s plenty a story in that alone! I was 18, and him, he was in he’s 50′s! :-0
15. I finally had enough, I’d outgrown Texas. I went off to be a delivery driver for a car sales/service place. That was quite fun, dad was a mechanic there too. That job only lasted 3 months. On Christmas Eve my dad and I became redundant. The company went bust. Nice pressie!
16. I was out of work for about six months. Saying that, not totally, I was a barmaid and had been for a while. I finally got a full time job on the railway, at Petts Wood as a clerical officer. I was there 6 months before applying for the next grade up in a depot in Ashford. I got the job. Here I helped implement a British Standard quality system. We achieved it. The guys I was working for had been involved with legal proceedings following the Clapham Junction Train crash. New procedures, records and systems were required. I typed them all out and kept them updated. I also covered in London for a while until I was pregnant. The threat of bombs was quite high at the time. I can remember being stuck in tunnels a few times due to bomb scares. I requested to come back to Ashford.
17. I met Mick, my boys dad when I was a barmaid. 1990! The Zodiac. It was the only place in Ashford open late, the only night club was shut. So everyone that wanted a late drink was in the Zodiac. It was fun working there, and along side my good buddies, Lorraine and Wendy.
18. Me and Mick decided to have children, we had a mortgage we was settled in our home and ready for something new. Mitch was born in 1996 and Reece in 1998. We also planned to extend the house. We was all living in a building site. It was ok, not a problem, but I wasn’t right. Every time I went to the doctor with the boys for something I wanted to cry but couldn’t speak. I finally wrote a list of things that was bothering me. I went to the doctor and just shoved the list under he’s nose. He put me on Prozac.
19. I’m still not quite sure what unsettled me, perhaps that I had become a mother and I had my childrens’ best interests. I didn’t feel settled, Mick hadn’t changed he’s way since becoming a father, although saying that he did build us a lovely big house. I left Mick. At mediation I had to work out finances. It worked out that I was earning about £8 a month after everything was paid out. You’d think that might of put me off? No, I needed to move on. The hardest decision I ever made of course. I don’t know how I managed but it was fine. I kept a good relationship with Mick. I wanted our boys to know that both mum and dad was there for them still and not fighting against each other. If this offends you I’m sorry, but if you have children together but are not together, stop ya bloody bitching and think of the kids!
20. I had Stage III pre cancerous cells whilst I was pregnant with Mitchell. One consultant had said that if it was he’s wife he would terminate the pregnancy. However another consultant took biopsies from my cervix through my pregnancy, all ok. I had a cone biopsy 3 months later. Only to be over shadowed by Mick who got appendicitis New Years eve. So we was both in hospital together. That’s why I had to go back to work for a month, cos Mick was recovering, apparently I didn’t need any recovery.
21. I’m proud of myself that I have been able to be a “stay at home mum” creating and growing my own business which helps people feel better about themselves.
22. I was too anxious about going on holiday abroad with Mick and the boys. When I left him, it was one of the first things I done. I went off the Cyprus with my friend Maxine and her daughter, Roxanne.
23. When the boys were young, I decided to get back into shape. I was 14 and a half stone when i was pregnant with Mitch. I didn’t do anything in between having the boys. After Reece came along I started back at the gym to sort myself out. I used to be in the leisure centre at least 3 hours, 3 times a week doing classes and the gym, and chatting of course after!
24. Life happened again, distractions, not being mindful of anything. I don’t have as much time to spend up the gym now I work looking after bootcampers and ladies online. However, I noticed that I have been pretty mindless for a few years now, just hopping in and out of exercise and eating crap foods. A holiday with my friends coming triggered my motivation. I worked out, mostly at home alone and ate a clean diet. This was my result after 4 weeks, over 1 stone lighter.